Locked Out

When you begin art

It’s so simple

Fingerpaints and Crayola and printer paper

Maybe construction paper

When you return

 After a few years away

You try to ease in

But you trip and you fall and you drown

Down, down, down, the rabbit hole

Birdies circling your head

Oils? Acrylics?

You mean

There’s a difference?

Oil, I guess.

I just want a paintbrush

What do you mean what size?

What type?

Horse hair? Boar hair? Sable?

Flat? Round? Fan? Bright?

I just want a brush! A good brush

What will I be doing with it?

Painting!

 What do you mean “What will you be painting”?

Things!

Flowers? Buildings? Animals? Ships?

I don’t know!

Just things!

You know what?

Forget the oil paint and brushes!

I’m gonna be a watercolorist.

That’s easy right?

Just give me the basics

Wait, what do you mean by cakes or tubes?

Watercolors!

No I don’t know how permanent colors are!

What do you mean I need half a dozen brushes?

And pans?

Can’t I just use Crayola?

Don’t give me that look!

No Watercolors!

Pens and Markers!

Those are simple right?

(My Head Hurts)

No, I don’t know the difference between tip sizes

Or shapes

Or brands

Or Pressure

You’re about to see just how heavy handed I am though!

Fine, just, what about colored pencils

Really? Really?!

Can’t anything be simple?!

You know what?

Amazon still sells RoseArt Art Kits I think.

If not, there’s always Walmart